I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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