We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
