yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
