I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
