Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
