We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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