i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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