she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
