well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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