bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
