this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
