Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
