Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
