:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
