Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it because I queefed?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
