There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
