At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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