I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize