problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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