She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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