You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK