The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
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i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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