Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Houston, we have a squirter
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
