laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize