i think i have herpe
just one?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
