oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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