Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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