She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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