When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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