come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
