is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
