glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this