I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?