All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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