Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.

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  (403): found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun. http://tfl.nu/lec0
  Replies (67) Good night (3257) Bad night (712)
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  (650): View more from California

  Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.

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  (650): Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap. http://tfl.nu/3ryi
  Replies (26) Good night (6738) Bad night (974)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.

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  (503): She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party. http://tfl.nu/vfln
  Replies (46) Good night (709) Bad night (7075)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..

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  (313): I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together.. (313): I can't decide if I actually want to know or not.. http://tfl.nu/mkwc
  Replies (18) Good night (906) Bad night (4547)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

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  (417): Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"? http://tfl.nu/n06e
  Replies (16) Good night (6680) Bad night (1334)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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  (281): Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment. http://tfl.nu/djy3
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (2491)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers

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  (973): now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers http://tfl.nu/pdyb
  Replies (10) Good night (1511) Bad night (870)
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  (619): View more from California

  After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.

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  (619): After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation. http://tfl.nu/dnza
  Replies (10) Good night (3000) Bad night (631)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"

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  (845): Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?" http://tfl.nu/78br
  Replies (12) Good night (547) Bad night (1937)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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  (859): it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone? http://tfl.nu/jw1z
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (421)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm

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  (603): 100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm http://tfl.nu/mujv
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (217)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer

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  (705): this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer http://tfl.nu/chqz
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (297)
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  (626): View more from California

  Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.

  (1-626): View more from California

  I see you met someone special

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  (626): Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection. (1-626): I see you met someone special http://tfl.nu/ncbz
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (146)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?

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  (989): So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/cm4x
  Replies (8) Good night (285) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.

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  (609): I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs. http://tfl.nu/0efw
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (217)

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