sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago