Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

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  (202): i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML http://tfl.nu/7ngy
  Replies (4) Good night (1311) Bad night (631)
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  (805): View more from California

  "what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me

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  (805): "what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me http://tfl.nu/evlb
  Replies (7) Good night (674) Bad night (2111)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.

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  (847): 3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world. http://tfl.nu/xg24
  Replies (21) Good night (3747) Bad night (604)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life

  (619): View more from California

  with a huge shlong

  (440): View more from Ohio

  massive. i wanna make bitches cry

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  (440): if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life (619): with a huge shlong (440): massive. i wanna make bitches cry http://tfl.nu/imk4
  Replies (39) Good night (5970) Bad night (931)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...

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  (610): I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library... http://tfl.nu/atq4
  Replies (34) Good night (4463) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.

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  (614): She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up. http://tfl.nu/g4hi
  Replies (10) Good night (5839) Bad night (712)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.

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  (479): I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's. http://tfl.nu/ybeq
  Replies (11) Good night (3992) Bad night (1445)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve

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  (386): I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve http://tfl.nu/p2o3
  Replies (9) Good night (2821) Bad night (899)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.

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  (732): please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me. http://tfl.nu/r1h1
  Replies (3) Good night (2882) Bad night (849)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

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  (605): Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying? http://tfl.nu/tphe
  Replies (12) Good night (4344) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."

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  (703): You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial." http://tfl.nu/ubhg
  Replies (3) Good night (1668) Bad night (847)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.

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  (720): I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony. http://tfl.nu/wqpi
  Replies (15) Good night (2630) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.

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  (419): Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/1dog
  Replies (4) Good night (1428) Bad night (596)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!

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  (+44): We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA! http://tfl.nu/862o
  Replies (6) Good night (798) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.

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  (602): His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers. http://tfl.nu/dqr9
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (379)

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