ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up

  Fav 3 2213 934

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.

  Fav 5 3847 1329

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (845): View more from New York

  he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"

  Fav 37 6798 1762

  share tweet
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

  Fav 38 4316 2578

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.

  Fav 3 2578 1388

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?

  Fav 8 3356 1579

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.

  Fav 2 2076 786

  share tweet
  

• (209): View more from California

  Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing

  Fav 10 1680 1078

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

  Fav 3 1131 658

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  I just need some dick and some jimmy johns

  Fav 4 873 532

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.

  Fav 1 614 354

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (586): View more from Michigan

  This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder

  Fav 2 373 559

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.

  Fav 2 62 56

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Did I see you at the bar last night?

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...

  Fav 0 56 4

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE

  Fav 1 9 48

  share tweet
  

Randomize