Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.

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(716): So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar. http://tfl.nu/a5mu

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(360): View more from Washington

he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

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(360): he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/9e4p

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(720): View more from Colorado

So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

(970): View more from Colorado

well, dont

(720): View more from Colorado

I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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(720): So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face. (970): well, dont (720): I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it. http://tfl.nu/lbqb

Replies (32) Good night (6025) Bad night (669)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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(304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.

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(403): She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for. http://tfl.nu/yw8g

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.

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(734): I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather. http://tfl.nu/4j7n

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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(610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc

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(630): View more from Illinois

I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.

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(630): I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job. http://tfl.nu/iztl

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(260): View more from Indiana

He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

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(260): He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again. http://tfl.nu/91lg

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(276): View more from Virginia

I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.

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(276): I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences. http://tfl.nu/f9jw

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.

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(508): $100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me. http://tfl.nu/si9y

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(702): View more from Nevada

The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves

(806): View more from Texas

That's not technology. Doesn't count.

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(702): The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves (806): That's not technology. Doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/x0wz

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(602): View more from Arizona

Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.

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(602): Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility. http://tfl.nu/8fpl

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(520): View more from Arizona

This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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(520): This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina. http://tfl.nu/8kic

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(256): View more from Alabama

Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.

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(256): Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool. http://tfl.nu/26ob

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