"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
