Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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