I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
