New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize