I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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