Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
