he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
