you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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