you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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