the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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