wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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