how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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