and i looked up. we had an audience...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
