Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
