as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
