we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
