i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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