She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
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What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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