The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
