your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
