If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i think i scared a bird with my dick
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I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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