my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so let's talk penis.
Actions speak louder than pants.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
