weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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