what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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