why didn't you poke me back
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
