Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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